Avoiding ‘the curse of competence.’

December is stressful for us for all sorts of reasons –  flu surges, bed depletion as well as the home rollercoaster of managing children’s emotions, extended families and the general getting-ready-for-the-day happenings.

Christmas time in the NHS can feel like the rest of the world is carrying on in its own separate reality, not realising just how much extra stress is happening for us in medicine

Nevertheless, there are a few traps for doctors – where we over-use our natural strengths under stress and fall from self-expression to over-expression.

1.  The Curse of Competence

Being highly competent beings, this can easily turn into a narrative in our heads of, ‘only I am really capable of doing this and doing it to my own standards.’

This results in taking on extra tasks, ‘just quicker to do it myself’ – well, sometimes it is.

It can also rob people of the opportunity to learn and take on responsibility for themselves. If we insist on doing everything ourselves, other people can also resent us.

When thinking, ‘it is just quicker to do it myself,’ how will that serve you well in the long run?

Or is there an uncomfortable conversation you are avoiding?

2.  Making assumptions

This can mean falling into the trap of believing: no-one can help, no-one wants to help etc etc, (warning sign of this is thinking, ‘Poor me!’).

What assumptions are you making here?

Who else can help?

Or: what else might help in the situation?

3.  Perfectionism

An extremely common trait amongst us, (possibly 1 in 5), perfectionism is great for doing eye surgery.  It’s more challenging in a messy system that tries to expect it  of us but in reality, is often in chaos.

When it comes to the run-up to Christmas, are the standards you put upon yourself realistic?

Whose expectations, are they?

Do you expect more from yourself than others?

The difference in performance between perfectionism and ‘good enough’ is actually very slight. When you’re caught up in a task, at what point can you say it’s ok, if not perfect.

4.   Unable to tolerate ‘power vacuums.’

Think of requests made to groups where no one answers…someone needs to organise the rota, Secret Santa,  but you did it last year. Silence ensues…

It’s ok to let it hang – and for longer than feels comfortable. Research shows that women (who already tend to take on more load in their home lives), are more likely to jump into this gap where as men are more comfortable to let this hang.

5.  Boundaries (yes, those again)

If you want to become better at saying no, but find you just say yes and then kick yourself afterwards, then taking a moment to look back and break down what actually happened and how, is the first step.

What were you thinking? What were you feeling? What was happening – did the request come when you were very busy?

What would. you have done differently if you had taken a moment to think before replying?

And if you find boundaries truly nerve-wracking, think of a plan to support your nervous system as well, whether it’s exercise, meditation or taking up a regular breathing practice such the 4-7-8 method.

Further info

While personality tests can be controversial, the Enneagram Insitute have a low-cost test that shows you what behaviours you naturally fall into when under stress.

Although it lacks an evidence base, I find my profile surprisingly accurate!

Why not give it a go?

What’s your key takeaway from this article?

To book a free call with me to discuss working together, the link to my diary is here: https://zcal.co/drclairedavies/sample