How do we prevent taking on the emotions of patients in our work – or transference, as it is known in psychology?

This important question came up in a recent workshop on healthy boundaries for doctors.

Read this article to learn three key skills.

How do we know if anxiety is really ours – over whether we have made the right clinical judgement?  That churning feeling in the solar plexus, or sweaty palms, as we think, ‘is there something wrong with my reasoning there?

Have I missed something barn-door?  Did I say the right thing?’

Or does the anxiety belong to the patient who has just left?

And if it belongs to the patient, how can we hand it back so that we don’t ruminate on it all evening?

Here are a few ways to manage this situation.

1. Pause and check in with yourself

Take a few slow deep breaths in and out.  What are you actually feeling? Can you give the emotion a name?  Is it locatable somewhere in your body?  Perhaps your shoulders are tight or you feel slightly nauseous somewhere in your stomach.

Now ask yourself: is this feeling mine or does it belong to someone else?  Is this my struggle or theirs?

If not, imagine yourself taking the feeling and handing it back to them.

You may like to ask: what is my responsibility here?  And theirs?

2. Try the ‘hot potato technique.’

Imagine the problem as a hot potato being juggled back and forth during the consultation.  No-one wants to really hold onto it – it’s too hot!

Who does it really belong to? Is it medical, or does it have a lot of emotional or social factors beyond your control? Does it sit with you, the patient or in the middle?

If the problem truly doesn’t belong to you, visualise the patient leaving – with the hot potato.

3. Cultivate like-minded colleagues you can check in with.

During a recent session I was left feeling anxious after many discussions with the family of an elderly person who lived alone.  ‘Is this my stuff or theirs?’, I asked a colleague.  ‘Definitely theirs,’ she said.  I instantly started to feel less anxiety.

Later in the session, my colleague had the same problem  with a patient and was back in my room asking ‘am I picking up on the patient’s anxiety here?’    Yes!

Both of us are very experienced GPs – but it just goes to show, how easy it is for difficult emotions to be transferred onto us and they will affect us unless we learn how to notice and manage them.

In doing so, we develop better emotional boundaries for ourselves, whilst remaining compassionate and being able to appreciate our work more.

I work with exhausted doctors to help you prioritise yourself and rescue your career. If you would like to get your energy back, avoid the drama and get great boundaries in place, book into my diary to start the conversation – just hit the Book button anywhere on this platform – or send me an email: hello@drclairedavies.co.uk